SALTLANTIC™ Surf Co. "Don't Harsh My Mellow" Tee

This tee is not clothing. It is a public service announcement for anyone who dares approach you while you are operating at 3% brain capacity and 97% sunshine.

The front left chest has a tiny SALTLANTIC™ logo — a polite little “hello” from a brand that knows you’re one loud noise away from dissolving into a fine mist.

But the back? The back is a full‑scale emotional barricade. A massive “DON’T HARSH MY MELLOW” detonates across your spine like a mellow‑protection spell cast by a beach wizard who hasn’t slept since the Reagan administration.

Wearing this tee transforms you into a creature powered entirely by:

lukewarm ocean water

faint breezes

and the distant sound of someone dropping a surfboard

Your mellow becomes so fragile that if someone even THINKS about asking you to do something productive, your soul will eject from your body like a startled hermit crab.

This tee is ideal for:

People who require a 12‑foot radius of emotional quiet

Individuals who have achieved “sentient sea cucumber” levels of calm

Anyone who has ever whispered “please don’t ruin this for me” to a cloud

Folks who treat mellow like a federally protected habitat

The back graphic doesn’t just send a message — it threatens the universe with consequences. It says, “If you disturb my peace, I will simply stop participating in reality.”

THANK YOU for shopping SALTLANTIC™ Surf Co. 🫶❤️

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• RETURN POLICY •

• ALL SALES ARE FINAL •
Once you place an order, your shirt launches itself into production like it has a destiny. There’s no stopping it, recalling it, or convincing it to “wait, actually…” It’s already gone.

• Address Accuracy •
Please triple‑check your shipping address.
If it goes to your neighbor, your ex, a cul‑de‑sac, or the void, we can’t retrieve it.
If it gets returned to us, you’ll cover reshipment.

• If We Mess Up •
Wrong item, wrong size, wrong print, or something arrives looking feral — we fix it immediately. No drama. But you got 48 hours to let us know. ☀️

• If a Return Is Accepted (Rare) •
Item must come back looking untouched by human life.
No stains, smells, pet hair, glitter, crumbs, wrinkles, or evidence of emotional events.

• Cancellation Window •
You have 3 hours to cancel. After that, your order has sprinted into production.

• Brand & IP Protection •
All artwork, graphics, illustrations, product designs, and written content sold or displayed by SALTLANTIC™ are original works created and owned exclusively by SALTLANTIC™. These materials are protected under U.S. and international copyright law. Reproduction, redistribution, modification, or commercial use of any SALTLANTIC™ content without written permission is strictly prohibited.